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Please feel free to ignore this post. It is primarily to test the bot for discord. If you are looking to join a discord gaming community feel free to join us here!
If you are bored enjoy these short stories!
- “I am studying to be an interpreter in France. The only exam that I have failed so far is the Spanish one. It would be okay if I weren’t a native Spanish speaker.”
- “I punished my pupil for faking his parents’ signatures. The next day, his parents sent a complaint about me to the principal. Well, I couldn’t have imagined that the maiden name of his mother was Batman.”
- “I opened a Nivea cream bottle and licked the foil. Turns out, it’s not as tasty as yogurt.”
- “I am traveling around Ireland. Decided to take a funny photo with a sheep wearing my glasses. So if you meet a sheep in Ray-Ban shades…”
- “Our system administrator is on vacation. I don’t know how he does it but every morning, there appears to be a new splash screen on all the office computers — and it’s of him on the beach.”
- “After a year of being a bachelor, I met a very nice 24-year-old girl. When she found out I didn’t have a smartphone, a TV set, or an account on Facebook, she got scared and left me. While saying goodbye to me she added that she’d better find someone ’normal’ for herself.”
- “4 days before our wedding, my bride broke her left ring finger.”
- “I was boasting my unpredictability and spontaneity to my new partner. At this moment, he slowly brought his lips to mine and whispered voluptuously, ’So, amaze me.’ I still don’t know why I burped in response.”
- “I asked a trainee to make 150 copies. She made only 50. When I told her about it, she threw the already-made copies into a garbage bin… and went to make new ones.”
- “Today in the park, I met my classmate that I hadn’t seen since school ended. She was with her husband and 2 kids and I was catching Pokémon with my friends.”
- “Today, a Russian man asked me if I came from Russia. Being surprised, I answered that I didn’t. Then he explained that my tattoos translated to belonging to the mafia. Hmm!”
- “I fell asleep on a train and slept for only several minutes. When I woke up, everyone in the wagon was looking at me with strange smiles. I still don’t know what I did.”
- “I was on vacation in Australia. When I was sleeping, an enormously huge and creepy insect crawled on my bed and then disappeared. I couldn’t find it. That was the longest night of my life.”
- “I work as a receptionist in a hotel. Today clients wrote a complaint saying that the water in the sea was too salty.”
- “The other day, 2 guys came up to me on the street. One of them said, ‘Give me your mobile phone, quickly.’ In response, I punched him in the face. The second one was shocked. Turns out, they were promoters. They were giving out leaflets inviting me to join a course in self-defense.”
- “My daughter-in-law taught my grandson to cry and shout, ‘Am I not good enough for you?’ And he does it every time I ask her whether she would like to have one more child.”
- “Today my husband and I decided to split up the house chores. So it was his turn to wash the dishes. He opened the tap, wet his hands, closed the tap, dried his hands, took the car keys and left. He came back with a dishwasher.”
- “I am a hairdresser. Today I got a client who showed me with gestures that he was deaf and mute. Fortunately, I know a few gestures in sign language and tried to communicate with him. Not being able to stand it, he said aloud, ’God, my ingenious plan failed. Please cut my hair quietly.’ ”
- “To take revenge on me after a quarrel, my wife wrapped her sneakers in foil instead of the usual sandwich she packs me, and I took it to work.”
- “I was celebrating the new year in Rio de Janeiro. I went there for the fantastic beach fireworks. Just before midnight, I decided to go to the hotel to pick up my camera and got stuck in the elevator till 3 AM. Happy New Year!
- “I have an allergy to sea water. I’ve lived in Tahiti my whole life.”
- “Today I got a strong urge to buy my wife flowers. She accepted them with tears in her eyes saying, ’Darling, you didn’t forget.’ The most interesting thing is that I still don’t understand what she was talking about. Well, at least I dodged a bullet!”
- “I told my boss that she made a mistake in the timetable because there is no 29th of February this year. She said, ’Do you mean that Tuesday is followed by Thursday this year?’ She was very serious.”
- “On the 24th of December, I was going home to celebrate Christmas with my family in the country. The snowstorm was very strong and I got stuck in the countryside. I thought that I would have to celebrate Christmas alone in the car. The car was already covered up with snow when somebody knocked on the window. Turns out, a man behind me also got stuck. He got into my car with a couple of burgers and 2 glasses of Coke. There can be happy endings in the worst of situations!